ranting

it's kind of saddening when you begin seeing someone and all of a sudden all the guys who you thought were your friends just stop talking to you. like that makes it pretty obvious that they were only talking to you because they thought you were attractive and because you were single so they thought they may have had a chance in hell with you, but in reality you naively thought they wanted to be friends with you.
this proves to me that guys are just the same as girls, even though girls say "oh i would rather have guys as friends"

and also! when youre talking to one of your guy friends and you tell them that you have a boyfriend now and they say, "oh haha thats sucks" or "oh bummer :P" 
like seriously? .........seriously? it may be a bummer for you because now you really dont have a chance with me anymore but come on. like really you have to say something stupid like that instead of being respectful and responding "oooh yay! im so happy for you etc etc"

and one more thing before i end this post; my one friend said something along the lines of this to me the other day "you only date guys with big spacers"
first of all the word spacers is kind of irritating, i dunno why it just sound kind of dumb.
and secondly, I DO NOT? like sure chances are i will be more attracted to someone whos ear lobes are larger, but just because i am that doesnt mean that that is what my relationships hinge upon. that is the most shallow thing i have ever heard to only date a person because of something about their physical appearance. that just makes me angry. ive only had like 3 boyfriends in the past. my first boyfriend didnt even have his ears pierced, my second boyfriend didnt either and only started stretching because he was stupid and shallow and thought if he had stretched ears then i would like him more. my third wasnt even at his biggest size when we dated and i broke up with him because he was immature and an idiot. 

my boyfriend Nick has his ears stretched just over 2.5 inches and if he had been an asshole i would not have fallen for him. i am with him because in my eyes everything about him is gorgeous, he is legitimately the nicest guy i have ever met, he does and says the cutest things, he is not immature or annoying in the least, we both love Edward Norton, we like the same kind of bread for christ sakes.... what he does to his body is his choice, he can do whatever he wants to himself/his ears and it will never ever change the way i feel about him

i think it would be nice if we could bring back the real meaning of the swastika.
its not really common knowledge that it is actually an ancient symbol of peace

and i really really love how some people are bold enough to get swastikas tattooed on their body or to wear swastika jewlery and clothing and things like that.

so i always thought it was ridiculous how people who modify their appearance (bright hair colour, facial piercings or tattoos or other modifications) have a lowered chance of getting a job because of the way they choose to look.
people with their nose pierced dont get treated any differently, but if you choose to express individuality by let's say for example having a full sleeve and a chest piece tattooed and having pink hair the chances of you getting a job would be cut by more than half.
thats sad really, its your parents' job to raise you to have a sense of individuality, but then society squashes it out of you.
and yeah it is difficult during highschool and stuff because inside we are still all spongy, the person we will become/ are becoming is still being molded. and most of us are very unsure and hormones screw you up and we want to be accepted. 
i notice as i get older im developing more of a personal identity. instead of following the highschool trends (which i still do; i have a pair of yoga pants, i have a sweater from pink, i have a coat from tna, etc) but in addition to the popular trends i like western button up shirts, i like dresses, i love my James Dean shirt that i got last weekend. i dont know ill probably add more to this later i just think its unfair that we judge people like that. 
and personally being artistic myself when i see someone unique i am much more interested than repulsed. and id rather aspire to growing up being different.